It’s the second you’ve all been ready for*: my first ever ebook, How Not To Be A Supermodel, is out there for pre-order! Right here!
An precise ebook that it is possible for you to to carry in your arms. Or, for those who favor my dulcet tones, take heed to together with your ears. You’ve cherished my revealing life updates, over time, and also you’ve diligently learn by my farcical tales of woe (bear in mind once I nearly unintentionally penetrated myself with a shower faucet?): now it’s time to let me take you all the way in which again to 2001, once I was a mere slip of a factor, leaving my regulation diploma to turn into an immediately wealthy and well-known supermodel.
You could possibly name How Not To Be A Supermodel a memoir, as a result of I wrote it about myself and my reminiscences and the experiences I had as a vogue mannequin within the noughties, however my God that makes it sound very critical. “Memoir” makes it sound as if I wrote my ebook within the 1800s. Within the drawing room, while mom did her needlepoint and Eliza practised on the pianoforte.
And let me ask you this: would a memoir, to your thoughts, embody a narrative about unintentionally occurring a luxurious five-day vacation with a person you didn’t know? Would a memoir sometimes have a chapter known as Physique Like a Turgid Penis? Or – maintain on a second whereas I rustle by my notes – I’m Drunk and I’m Not Sporting Knickers? No it might not.
So sure, I wrote it about me and sure, it’s set prior to now, however don’t make the error of considering that any painful soul-searching went into this ebook. Let’s not get the fallacious finish of the stick, right here. I didn’t write it while sobbing periodically right into a starched linen kerchief, dabbing my eyes when it acquired to the insufferable bits: this can be a rip-roaring riot of a trip by a decade of the inconceivable eventualities and stunning occasions that life as a non-supermodel threw up, and it’s chaotic and blundering and humorous and incessantly ridiculous.
Pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel
OK, there are poignant moments. In fact there are. The truth is I used to be particularly informed, once I acquired the ebook deal, that I needed to embody the bits that may create one thing of a speaking level. (As if me inadvertently turning into concerned in an impromptu intercourse present or nearly falling into shark-infested waters wasn’t sufficient of a speaking level.) And so sure, I’ve put within the troublesome bits in addition to the entire components that can probably have you ever spitting out your espresso and embarrassing your self on public transport.
However principally this can be a snort-inducing, extremely correct** account of all of the methods through which I didn’t turn into a supermodel. My obvious bodily shortcomings, my persona defects and my spectacular capacity to draw chaos and catastrophe in nearly any state of affairs.
You possibly can pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel now – the discharge date is twenty ninth August. It has already been heralded as THE ONLY BOOK YOU NEED TO READ THIS YEAR!*** and so I feel it’s a fairly protected guess that you simply’ll like it. Pre-orders actually matter, apparently, and so for those who solely ever click on on one hyperlink I put up then please make it this one. I’ll be eternally in your debt.
Pre-order your copy of How Not To Be A Supermodel right here
I’ll be again with extra posts in regards to the ebook and in regards to the strategy of writing it as a result of it has truthfully been the most effective, most satisfying factor I’ve ever achieved in my grownup life. Should you’ve adopted me for some time you then’ll know that writing was what I had began to do on the finish of my modelling profession; running a blog was a really completely satisfied accident that took off into one thing nice and I’ve a superb and rewarding profession in social media due to it, however I’ve been hounding a ebook deal for a really very long time****. It’s a correct “full circle” second for me.
*with a bit of luck
**as correct as attainable. Largely correct. Considerably correct.
***I used to be pressured to offer this quote myself, as a result of it’s too early to get one off one other author but. I attempted to maintain it refined and fashionable.
****truthfully, the variety of folks I needed to sleep with.